This past Saturday, me and my New York Posse headed south to the City of Brotherly Love where we hooked up with our Philly crew and our Maryland squad for an evening of baseball, booze, and meat consumption.
The New York crew headed down in a badass big black SUV. We were riding in style and we were riding higher than all the other suckers in their low riding Camrys and Lancers. We could have fucking crushed any bastards on the road that got in our way. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A!
We all convened at the statue of head commando Steve Carlton. I wanted to do some paramilitary exercises after just a few moments next to Mr. Carlton’s likeness.
At the game, there were some Abercrombie and Fitch type jokers in front of us. 19-year-old chumps who wouldn’t know class if it bit them on their Marlton, New Jersey assess. They thought they were flying high because some how a couple of these clowns ended up with beer.
In the top of the 9th, my lady cried out “Phillies Suck!” to counterbalance the “Let’s Go Phillies” chants. My lady is full of spark, being a New York girl, and is used to responding to chants of “Let’s Go Yankees” with chants of “Yankees Suck!” But I guess these jokers couldn’t take it.
One of them flipped my lady the bird behind his back! The chump didn’t even have the decency to give her the finger to her face. She gave this classless bastard a taste of his own medicine and that was that. Or it was until pinch hitter Javy Lopez struck out to end the game. They turned around and started giving my woman the finger and mocking us.
You don’t do that to me, my lady, or any of my New York crew (except for maybe Balgavy who deserved it, that guy was definitely not representing for Brooklyn on this evening) and get away with that. I stepped up to defend my woman’s honor. And if it weren’t for my auntie, my sweet little sister, and my dear ol’ pops there, I would have busted some heads. The assholes sauntered home to their moms and my crew went out to party.
After cruising the Philly strip for a spell, we headed home. As I drifted off to sleep close to 5 a.m., I noticed that new Russian Wimbledon champion and I thought to myself, “Damn, that is one fine honey.”
For Sujan's take on the night events, read this.
Phillies 9 Mets 4
2 weeks ago