The heat and lack thereof (Home Version):
In these times of frigid air in my apartment, I am reminded of the Eddie Murphy Saturday Night Live sketch - I kill my landlord, C-i-l-l my landlord.
He is a greedy fucker. He is a stingy bastard. He also is a member of the board at my school. Money does equal power and this guy owns me in more ways than one. I can live with that if he would just turn on the fucking heat.
He has it set on a timer. But it never comes on before 8:30 pm or after 8:30 am. It is fucking cold in here.
Youthlarge called the maintenance people and spoke to the head over the weekend. It was 9:30 and the heat was not on. He was surprised, "The heat isn't on? I'll check it out but I have nothing to do with it. Stingy Landlord won't let me touch the timer that he sets. I'll come over now but you'll have to buzz me in because Stingy Landlord doesn't let me have a key."
Fifteen minutes later, the heat was indeed on. However, Youthlarge hadn't let him in. I suppose that the front door was open because the door rarely is closed due to a combination of Stingy Landlord refusing to fix the door and our Dumb Neighbors who don't know how to close it. But more on our Dumb Neighbors later.
The heat is a Catch-22 though because when it is turned on, it makes such a fucking racket that I haven't been getting any sleep recently because of the loud clanging it causes. It is so bad that even when I turn the valve all the way down, it still creates quite a racket. Stingy Landlord knows that there is a problem but he could care less.
Former tenant of my apartment/ Former co-worker/ Friend/ Mother of the ringbearer at my wedding told me that she once confronted Stingy Landlord in the lobby of our school and told him that he needed to turn the heat on in front of a number of parents. He wasn't too pleased. I'm not too sure if I want to go that route and I haven't even seen him around too much recently. Once I find out the exact temperature in here when I bring a thermometer home tomorrow , I will call him. Or I could e-mail him on the e-mail address that he shares with his wife in an attempt to shame him. However, Social Climbing Inept Auction Planning Wife of Stingy Landlord will care less.
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