The heat and lack thereof (Home Version):
In these times of frigid air in my apartment, I am reminded of the Eddie Murphy Saturday Night Live sketch - I kill my landlord, C-i-l-l my landlord.
He is a greedy fucker. He is a stingy bastard. He also is a member of the board at my school. Money does equal power and this guy owns me in more ways than one. I can live with that if he would just turn on the fucking heat.
He has it set on a timer. But it never comes on before 8:30 pm or after 8:30 am. It is fucking cold in here.
Youthlarge called the maintenance people and spoke to the head over the weekend. It was 9:30 and the heat was not on. He was surprised, "The heat isn't on? I'll check it out but I have nothing to do with it. Stingy Landlord won't let me touch the timer that he sets. I'll come over now but you'll have to buzz me in because Stingy Landlord doesn't let me have a key."
Fifteen minutes later, the heat was indeed on. However, Youthlarge hadn't let him in. I suppose that the front door was open because the door rarely is closed due to a combination of Stingy Landlord refusing to fix the door and our Dumb Neighbors who don't know how to close it. But more on our Dumb Neighbors later.
The heat is a Catch-22 though because when it is turned on, it makes such a fucking racket that I haven't been getting any sleep recently because of the loud clanging it causes. It is so bad that even when I turn the valve all the way down, it still creates quite a racket. Stingy Landlord knows that there is a problem but he could care less.
Former tenant of my apartment/ Former co-worker/ Friend/ Mother of the ringbearer at my wedding told me that she once confronted Stingy Landlord in the lobby of our school and told him that he needed to turn the heat on in front of a number of parents. He wasn't too pleased. I'm not too sure if I want to go that route and I haven't even seen him around too much recently. Once I find out the exact temperature in here when I bring a thermometer home tomorrow , I will call him. Or I could e-mail him on the e-mail address that he shares with his wife in an attempt to shame him. However, Social Climbing Inept Auction Planning Wife of Stingy Landlord will care less.
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18 comments:
Wow. your apt sounds like mine except i have a working fireplace.
i would love to comment on your landlord but i might get fired.
my landlord is in the mob so if i complain about him i might get whacked. i would have also liked to comment about third grade loveletters but can't, for the reasons noted above.
I saw stingy landlord today. He was on his way to the library for the meeting this morning. He held the door open for me and asked how i was. I had stingy landlord's daughter twice once in first grade and once in second.
Former co worker confronting stingy landlord, I wish I could have seen that.
Stingy landlord will get his comeuppance, you wait and see.
Karma!
It always bites you in the ass.
anonymous,
heh?
You freeze all day in school and then freeze at home at night too?
You must buy one of these
I have two in my house in rooms that just don't get warm, or have faulty radiators. I've been wheeling it into the bathroom in the morning so that when I get out of the shower the towels are nicely heated.
I know who anonymous is as he makes lots of references to himself in a comment ostensibly about your heating troubles. Listo, take the Maine approach and grow the "Summer D*n" beard back. Or rub yourself with bear grease and sew yourself into your thermals.
weasel,
beard is on the way.
mactechwitch,
if we set that up, then i've got to pay the electric bill, not stingy landlord. and that pisses me off.
And then we have the brother of stingy landlord who is my very own half-assed developer! It obviously runs in the family.
i am cursed with bad landlords and bad heat. remember i didn't have heat in my fort greene apartment either! or the place on state street. but stingy landlord takes the cake. he is an ASS!
p.s. weasel, you'd make a great forensics expert.
CSI Maine, coming soon. You could just read Youthlarge's account of baseball in Vegas with delicious grub, Listo- 800 degrees! I'd get the photos out if I were you.
I had the same problem earlier this week - except the heat didn't come on at all through the night. When I called the next morning, the management rep. (as usual) acted like she was doing me the biggest favor in the world by "checking it out" - after which, she (as usual) never bothered to call me back. When I called later in the day, she said they "found nothing" but the heat had mysteriously been back on when I got home.
Bastards.
I feel your pain brother. I will be thinking of you tonight when I am trying to fall asleep in my 45 degree room, while shaking my fist at our incompetent landlords.
In NYC, from 6AM to 10PM heat must be at least 68 degrees.
anonymous,
really? where can i find that documentation? what about from 10 pm - 6 am?
turtle,
these landlords are not incompetent, they know exactly what they are doing.
mactech- I don't know how safe carrying that thing into the bathroom is. Hav e you seen Final destination?
listo- Call 311!
http://www.nyc.gov/html/hpd/html/for-tenants/complaint-hotline.html
debbie, good point.
but i might have to take mactechwitch's advice.
When Mr. Penn was visiting NYC last week he was having major heat issues at the hotel where he stayed. They told him that they only heated either the west side or the east side of the building at any one time. I believe there was even mention of befriending someone on the other side of the building!
last night was fun since the heat actually came on but we couldn't keep it on since it was spewing scalding water everwhere.
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