Dear the New York Mets Baseball Club,
There once was a day where your ballclub was considered the kid friendly team in New York. Unlike the über serious Yankees, you have a mascot, you let the kids run the bases after some games, you have 12 noon start times in the summer for camp kids, the kid friendly list is plentiful.
Even the last time I took my twin infants to your ballpark was a wonderful experience. So I'd like to think that today was a mere aberration. But I'm worried.
Today was a terrible experience. Your security guard was completely flummoxed when we entered her territory as we approached the entrance. "Uh oh trouble," she uttered. She was completely perplexed as what to do with babies. She asked her co-worker who didn't want to have anything to do with it and ignored her.
She told us, "I need you to take the babies our of their carriers so I can check them." I asked her if she was kidding. She was not. I asked her if she thought we were hiding guns with our babies. She said, "You'd be surprised what people try to hide on their babies." I'm not sure why I didn't ask her what things are smuggled in but I'm dying to know.
Her co-worker checked me in a quite perfunctory way in the usual "security theater" kind of way. Then it was SHR's turn. She repeatedly asked why this hadn't happened the first two times we took the babies to game. The guard refused to answer, told SHR to step aside, and called her supervisor to defuse the SITUATION.
He appeared out of nowhere ready to do battle with the babies! He patted down the boys, didn't find any guns or alcohol and deemed the soon-to-be 5 month olds safe to enter. Phew. If the infants hadn't been patted down, clearly the terrorists would have won. What a joke.
I'm sorry ma'am but your babies might be hiding razor blades.
I need help. I need help. We have a situation!
Before the patdown.
SHR asked the supervisor why this hadn't happened before. She explained that we were just here on Sunday. He looked her in the eye and said, "We just had a meeting about this yesterday." Um ... right. A meeting about the extreme security threat that infants pose. What a joke. I would love to see the minutes of this meeting. I bet they are truly entertaining.
After the game, we were getting the boys ready to go. All told, there were three babies. A security guard came walking by and told us, "Time to clear out. You have to leave now." I replied, "Yes sir, we are working on it."
30 seconds later, another security guard came by and said, "Time to clear out. You have to leave now." Donovan replied, "Yeah, we're getting there. We have 3 babies." The guard didn't like being spoken to in such a factual manner. "Alright youse. Calm down."
Seriously, what sort of organization are you running here? A Yankees fan friend of mine refers to your organization as a Cracker Jack operation. After today's events as well as the ridiculousness of the way you handled last Wednesday's game, I'm inclined to agree. Granted, this isn't nearly as bad as kicking a fan out for trying to use a restroom during the singing of God Bless America, but it is turning me off to coming to games.
I have been a season ticket holder for 10 years. I don't spend Bernie Madoff money at your ballpark so maybe you don't care. But treating fans like this isn't smart business. I hope my boys are big baseball fans. You should be trying to make families happy. There are a lot of dollars to be made off of us over the next few years. Just because you put the label "hospitality attendant" on your worker's shirts doesn't mean there is all that much hospitality going around at your new "world class" ballpark.
Yours in sub .500 baseball,
A truly disgruntled Listmaker
Phillies 9 Mets 4
2 weeks ago